Letter to Gina
You felt taken advantage of in Glenwood because you felt that you were paying for everything. Well what is everything?
You were paying all of your rent except for the times I was able to help you, which were the only times we ever communicated about any kind of financial assistance. I was even there with you when you signed the lease and I made sure to ask if you were going to be able to afford it, and you said something to the effect of, “Oh I can cover that easy”
Whatever you said, I felt confident you would be taken care of. I needed this confidence, which you were able to provide by reassuring me you could afford the cost of living the life you chose for yourself after I offered to have you move in with me to help you save money.
You had just underwent an abortion. After the procedure, we had a discussion where you took a stand which led to an agreement that if you were to become pregnant again, you would not go through with an abortion. I agreed because I gave it a lot of thought, and concluded starting a family with you is something I want. I came to this conclusion after going home to meet our niece. I enjoyed my time with them, but it was heart wrenching to be with MacKenzie and my family without you there. You were alone in Colorado undergoing arguably one of the most traumatic experiences of your life and knowing that was painful. I feel that the decision to have an abortion was one of fear, doubt, and a knee jerk reaction to the news. I felt I had little say in what was to ultimately happen because I respect your autonomy. I knew that regardless of the decision that you arrived at that it was your body, but that you had my support. I admit I could have been more comforting but the event affected me as well. My inability to pay for the operation on top of the fact you had some other guy pay for it weighed on me greatly. So it was one defeating feeling on top of the other, and when I become so overwhelmed with emotion I shut down.
Then we found out you were pregnant with Nova and everything changed almost immediately. I wanted to be very present throughout the pregnancy because you are very important to me. There were times where you begged me to come to Glenwood, and there were times I voluntarily came down. There was this push and pull that existed because I wanted to balance out where I slept at night. I knew that if I stated in Glenwood more than pp